It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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