You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So apparently I’m into choking now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
