you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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