1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
