a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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