party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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