garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
plz talk dirty to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
