I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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