I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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