Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
