i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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