Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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