I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
