dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
