Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
