I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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