so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
