Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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