Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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