they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
