I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
