I look better un-naked...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
