oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
