I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
