sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize