you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
