my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
