I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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