This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i think my cat just said my name.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i now understand why vodka
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
