yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
