If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i will never coherently bang her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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