I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
