All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
