I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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