Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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