I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
