she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
