just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
