plz talk dirty to me
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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