Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize