new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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