sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I deserve this hangover.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
