I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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