Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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