white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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