and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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