Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
