There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize