I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize