Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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