tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
