There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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