my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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