first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
