the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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