Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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