here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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