I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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